Don't Eat the Mushrooms
by dickard23
Summary: Azula, Aang and Katara accidentally eat psychedelic mushrooms, leaving their respective groups baffled by their behavior, clearly a silly one shot.


Magic Mushrooms

Azula was hungry. Tracking the Avatar and his stupid peasantry friends took a lot of energy out of the Princess. She went to get some jerky. It was all gone. Azula went to hunt. She heard voices. Could that be the Avatar? She went to look. No, it was just some village teens. What is that they are holding? She got closer to see them pulling food out of the ground. Are those mushrooms?

They heard the rustling from Azula's movements and yelled "bear," running away frantically.

"I AM NOT A BEAR!" she said indignantly, but they had already fled. "You fools, you forgot your basket."

Azula took it. Now she had plenty of mushrooms

Mai and Ty Lee had gone for a swim. They had invited the princess, but she was too busy training. Swimming could wait until after she caught the avatar, since her stupid brother couldn't so it. Little did she know, Zuko had decided to join the Avatar. He had invited Uncle, but Iroh decided to wait for the White Lotus in Ba Sing Se.

She started a fire and sautéed a pan full of them. She ate one. It was hard to chew and not very tasty. She added some salt and water to try and add some flavor and soften them up. The next two were easier to chew, but they still weren't very good. Not knowing when she'd find more food, Azula finished her pan, but then her stomach seemed to immediately regret that decision. In a fit of frustration, Azula hurled the basket in the air, not caring where it went. What useless food!"

About an hour later, Katara was out foraging for produce when she saw a basket and some mushrooms. Someone must have dropped this. She scooped them up and brought them to camp. "I have mushrooms for us to eat." She, knowing nothing of produce outside of sea prunes, had no idea mushrooms could be poisonous, much less psychedelic. She cut them up and boiled them, making a soup. She fixed a bowl for herself and the others, and then she tried it. "Ugh! These mushrooms are nasty!"

Aang tried the soup next. "I've never had these before. Usually mushrooms are tasty."

"What did you do to it Katara?" Her brother teased.

"Nothing! I just boiled them and added some salt."

"You didn't add any meat?"

"Where's the meat? Aren't you supposed to be a hunter?"

Toph laughed. "He can't hunt his own shadow."

Everyone laughed except for the warrior.

Zuko came to check on the group. "What are you all doing?"

"Eating mushrooms, but they aren't good," Aang told him.

"What kind are they?"

He shrugged.

"Who picked them?"

He pointed to Katara.

"I just found a basket of them. I didn't pick them."

"What if they're poisonous?"

Her eyes got big. "There are poisonous mushrooms?"

"YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT?"

"Calm down, Sparky," Toph chastised. "In her world, the only produce is sea prunes, and they taste like poison, but they aren't poisonous."

"Let me see those." Zuko looked and sniffed them. "They don't look like the poisonous ones uncle warned me about, but they don't look like the ones he told me were safe either, so I wouldn't eat any more.

"Well, hopefully we don't die," Aang said in a surprisingly cheery voice.

Azula felt sick. She wanted to barf, but there wasn't anything in her belly. Mai and Ty Lee came back.

"Zula are you okay? Your aura's all green."

"I want to throw up."

"That's why it's green. Are you sick?"

"I think it's these gnarly mushrooms?"

"What mushrooms?" They didn't see any.

"I threw them away because they made my tum-tum feel bad."

"She must be sick," Mai commented; she never says tum-tum.

"Is that all you ate today? Maybe a banana will help you feel better." Ty Lee gave her one.

Azula opened it up and laughed. "It's funny because it looks like a wiener, and I don't mean a sausage."

Mai and Ty Lee were concerned. "What kind of mushroom was it that you ate?" Mai asked gently.

"Agni knows. These stupid teens were picking them and then ran off when they thought I was a bear. Then, I threw the basket over there when I realized the mushrooms tasted bad and made my tum-tum hurt, the nerve of those kids. Puhl-eeze! I am a dragon; not a fuddy duddy bear."

Her two friends started cracking up. Azula did too. "What's so funny?" she finally asked.

"Ty Lee," Mai said in a hoarse whisper.

"What, Mai?"

"Do you notice Azula's pupils?"

"What about them?"

"Aren't they bigger than normal, like much bigger?"

"Actually they are. What do you think that means?"

Mai whispered into Ty Lee's ear.

"Oh, for Agni's sake!"

The two girls were unsure of what to do.

"How about you watch Azula, and I'm going to look for those mushrooms? We may need to take her to a doctor."

Mai went off where Azula said she threw the basket, and she saw the Avatar and his friends. Crap! Right when Azula's high. She tried to sneak away. She didn't make a sound, but Toph could feel her presence.

"Who's over there?"

Mai threw some knives at them and then ran away.

The group dodged the knives easily, and looked to see Mai was gone.

"If Mai's here, Azula and Ty Lee are too," Zuko told them.

"But why would they run from us," Sokka questioned. "Your sister doesn't look like she ever runs away."

"Maybe they went foraging for food, and Mai was alone," Toph suggested.

"Maybe it's a trap to lure us," Katara suggested.

"Well, maybe they are just shy," Aang suggested, already feeling the mushrooms.

"WHAT!" yelled everyone.

"Yeah. Maybe they just don't know how to make friends. All of their anger could just be masking their loneliness. Let's go try and be friends."

"Twinkle Toes, have you lost your monkey-feathered mind?"

"I don't think so," he giggled. "Last one over there's a rotten turtle-duck egg." Aang yanked off his shirt and went running down the hill.

The group chased him, hoping to keep him alive.

Mai had just warned Ty Lee and Azula that the Avatar and his friends were here.

"You're pretty," Azula told her. "Ty Lee's really pretty and has a butt you can bounce a coin off of, but you are pretty too, and if Zuzu can't see it, then forget him and find a man with a bigger and better banana!"

The two girls looked at her, horrified. "Is this what she is like high?"

Aang came running. He got to the girls and then started doing flips in the air, showing off his airbending moves. "Isn't this fun!"

Ty Lee wondered what the hell was going on?

"He's cute," Azula said. "Not in a date me cute, but in an aw, isn't he cute, cute."

The two girls were still confused. Azula decided to do some flips too. She used her firebending to launch herself in the air. The world was tessellated, fractal patterns filling her mind, as everything was vibrant and pretty and happy.

Team Avatar caught up to see two of their rivals standing there, speechless and Aang and Azula playing together.

"What the hell is going on?" Zuko demanded.

"Zuko?" Mai wondered where he had run off too.

"Mai, what is the meaning of this?"

"We think Zula ate magic mushrooms by mistake."

They all looked at each other. Oops!

"But Katara ate the mushrooms too and she's fine."

"I feel like going for a swim." Katara took off all her clothes and ran to the river butt naked.

Sokka was horrified. Zuko was stunned. Toph was blind, but she could feel the boys' heart rates going up. "Zuko, you're a pervert!" she said and laughed.

Aang and Azula landed and looked around. "Zuzu!" she ran and hugged her brother. "Have I told you that I love you?"

"What is wrong with you?"

"Can't I be happy to see my big brother?"

"No!"

"Well, maybe you'll be less grumpy tomorrow Zuzu!"

"Why is there a pile of clothes there?" Aang asked.

"Katara went swimming," Mai said dryly.

"That sounds like fun." Aang took off his pants and went too, causing the boys to cringe, and Ty Lee to admire his equipment. Not bad at all.

"You're a pervert too," Toph told the acrobat.

Azula said, "I want to swim!" She ditched her clothes, causing Zuko to faint, Sokka not to know if he was horny or horrified and Mai and Ty Lee to look at each other quizzically. She did not just get naked to go skinny-dipping with the Avatar and Katara.

"Is that the scary fire princess?" Toph questioned. "She don't seem scary to me at all."

Azula cannonballed into the river, making a big splash. Katara was playing with the water, using her bending to make tentacles.

"They are funny because they look like ding dongs," Azula said.

Aang started cracking up, his laughter echoing in the woods.

"How distasteful," Katara teased as she sent a tentacle to Azula.

"She's trying to defile me. I am a princess!"

Aang made a giant water bubble and pulled Azula underwater with him. They could see the fish and everything on the riverbed. Katara made her own bubble and went into the river.

A school of fish went by. Azula was delighted.

"Who knew watebending could be so cool?"

Aang used his earthbending to make an outfit out of mud. "I am a golem!" he chased Azula and Katara around the woods, the trio laughing all the way.

The rest of the group struggled to figure out what to do.

"Maybe one of us should go into the city and try and buy an antidote," Mai suggested.

"But when Azula gets better, she's just going to try and kill us again."

"We can't keep her high forever," Toph retorted.

"Or can we?"

"NO!"

"Okay, Okay. We need Aang and Katara back too."

Mai volunteered to go. Ty Lee would have gone with her, but she didn't want to leave Azula alone when she wasn't herself. Zuko went with Mai, since it wouldn't look unusual if they were together.

"I was wondering where you wandered off too," Mai said dryly as they hiked down.

"I wanted to tell you, but Iroh suggested I didn't."

"He didn't think I could keep a secret."

"He didn't think Azula would keep the secret."

"You thought I would tell her?"

"I couldn't make put you in the middle of a lose-lose situation. If you didn't her and she found out, you know what she's like. I couldn't ask you to risk that for me."

"So you just wandered off without a word."

"I'd rather you be safe even if you were mad at me."

It was romantic in a foolish, honorable kind of way. Mai leaned in and gave him a kiss. "Can you keep that a secret?"

"I believe I can."

Azula was the fastest. She went sprinting through the woods, passing the confused group naked as she came. Katara was right behind her. Aang slowed down on purpose because he couldn't chase them if he caught them. "RAAAAHHH!" he yelled as the girls screamed for fun.

Again, their nudity confused the group. "Shouldn't we get some clothes on them?" Sokka commented.

Ty Lee shrugged. "Azula doesn't really take orders from anyone.

Lemons scene

"OWW!" Katara tripped and fell, cutting her knee. Azula stopped and turned around.

"What is it?"

"I got a booboo, and it hurts!" she cried.

Azula kissed it. "Is that better?"

"Yes!"

Azula kissed it again.

"Keep going."

Azula kissed it once last time.

"Thank you."

Gold eyes met blue and all Azula could see was a blue-eyed goddess staring back at her. She cupped her face and kissed her gently. Aang caught up with them to see them kissing and blushed as he turned away. He decided to go play with Momo and Appa instead.

All Katara could taste was sweetness. Azula tasted like berries. They stayed kissing for some time before Azula decided to take it a bit further. She started kissing the girl's neck.

"Oh yes! MORE!"

Azula covered her neck and kisses and went to the waterbender's chest, covering her breasts in small bites before going down her stomach to her hips. She palmed her sex, feeling it's heat as she rubbed the outer lips.

"OH YES!"

Azula sniffed her. She smelled good, like honey, and Azula licked her lips, hungry for more. She licked, exploring a woman for the first time, and it was delightful. Katara's hands were in Azula's hair, guiding her to where she was needed.

Sokka and Ty Lee thought they should go look for the girls.

"Actually Toph should go."

"She's blind, no offense!"

"That's why she should go."

"Ahh!"

Toph went down the grass. It was easy to sense them, but what were they doing. They are lying down, Katara's on her back and Azula's on her stomach with her head in between Katara's … Oh SHIT!

Toph ran to where Sokka and Ty Lee were. The two were starting to get to know each other.

"You don't want to go over there!"

"What are they doing?"

"UM!" Toph whispered in in Ty Lee's ear.

"WHAT? Are you sure?"

"You can go check if you don't believe it."

Ty Lee went out there and just like Toph said, Azula was going downtown. She came back, looking pink with embarrassment.

"Is Katara okay?" Sokka was ready to go investigate.

"She's fine, but she's still naked."

"Spirits, WHY?"

Aang and Momo were having a great time playing catch with a lychee nut. Appa rolled his eyes. He could tell Aang was high. What a silly human!

It took Mai and Zuko two hours to find the right antidote and come back.

"Seriously, you took long enough," Toph chastised.

"Sorry most stores only carry antidotes for poison and not for druggies!"

"Where are they anyway?" Zuko asked.

"Ask Ty Lee!"

First, they got Aang to take his antidote.

Then Mai and Ty Lee went to get Azula and Katara. They were cuddling, naked, with Katara's head on Azula's breast.

"I love you," Azula said to her.

"I love you too."

Mai and Ty Lee gulped. What will they do when they wake up?

Unable to separate the two, Ty Lee put a blanket on them and once they fell asleep, they moved Azula's tent over them.

"They should wake up sober," Ty Lee said.

Aang still couldn't believe what happened. "I was so happy, and I'm usually happy, but it was like there was no war, and all was good. Maybe we should give Ozai some mushrooms."

Sokka snickered. "That will be our plan of last resort. Here Fire Lord, eat this!"

Come morning, Azula was famished. All she had eaten the day before were those stupid mushrooms. She woke up with the sun and looked to see a naked girl on her chest. "WHAT IN AGNI'S NAME!"

Her yelling woke up Katara. "AZULA! What are you doing here?"

"You're in my tent. What are you doing here and why are you naked?"

"Takes one to know one; you're naked too." Azula looked down and blushed.

"I'm a princess. This is inappropriate."

"You're telling me."

Ty Lee and Mai heard the fussing and came to get them.

"Good you two are awake. Are you feeling better?"

"What are you blabbering about?"

"You two got high yesterday," Mai told them.

"WE WHAT!"

They got the girls some clothes and explained how they had eaten these mushrooms that turned out to be psychedelic.

"We got high on mushrooms?" Azula said still confused.

"Yes and by the time we came back with an antidote, you two were well snuggling, naked," Mai reiterated

"So we covered you and then you two fell asleep, so we put the tent over you too."

"What did we do last night if you know?" Azula inquired.

Ty Lee turned pink and whispered it to Mai.

"You want me to tell her that?"

"Well, you two kissed," Ty Lee supposed they started there.

"And?"

"And what?"

"And was there anything else?"

Ty Lee looked at Mai.

"Imagine Katara is a war balloon."

Azula looked blankly.

"You got on board and went down."

Azula frowned when she got it. "I what?"

"I don't get it."

"She's saying I went down on you last night."

Katara snorted involuntarily. "That explains why I remember feeling good."

"Well, this is awkward. I thought sleeping with the enemy was a cliché."

"Are you still enemies?" Ty Lee asked.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Katara looked at them. She's still trying to take over the world.

"Well, you two said you loved each other last night."

"WHAT!"

"It must have been the drugs," Azula retorted.

"Like I could fall in love with her," Katara scowled.

Azula frowned. "You sure loved having me between your legs last night. I think you almost broke my nose ramming my face into you." Azula rubbed her nose for dramatic effect.

"It was the drugs."

"Who knows? Maybe you find me irresistible. I am quite stunning."

"You are so cocky!"

"Actually, I don't have that part nor do I need it," she had a carnal smile.

"You're so distasteful."

"You seemed to enjoy it."

They bickered back and forth like a couple. Ty Lee and Mai gave them some privacy.

Sokka came over to them. "Where is my sister?"

"She and Azula are discussing the turn of events last night."

Sokka shook his head.

Another 20 minutes went by and the two girls still hadn't come out.

"Toph, can you go check on them?"

"Seriously guys. You can't make me do everything because I'm blind."

She went out there anyway to find them doing the same thing she caught them doing last night.

"AGAIN!"

She ran off. "I'm never checking on them again."

Ty Lee snuck over to the tent. Mai scolded her, but then she followed.

"OH AZULA!"

Moments later, the waterbender found her release.

"Still think it was the mushrooms," Azula said in a haughty tone.

Katara rolled her eyes. "Shut up!"

"Hey, you should appreciate this mouth."

"Not for talking." Katara shut her up with a kiss.

Mai and Ty Lee, turned at each other, mouths agape.

"So what does this mean?"


End file.
